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About Deviant Malamite Ltd.Male/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 12 Years
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Still alive, for now.

I don't know what will happen in the future. I still visit on occasions, but I've little to nothing I can share with others here since I stepped away a few months ago.

Yes, the mind still races with constant thoughts and ideas. Presenting them in a way that others can view and understand is always the hardest part.

This constant flow of imagination... it typically supersedes most of what I think or do. And I know it's not normal. I still don't know what the answer is, though I've had a hunch or two.

Initially I thought it may have been related to the autism spectrum. I wanted to know for certain whether that was the case. But after testing I didn't fill all the criteria that would suggest even Asperger's, the higher-functioning end of the spectrum.

They did find details pointing to other things about me. Mood disorders, like major depression and at least two forms of anxiety. I didn't expect PTSD, though.

In any case, none of what they've seen really answered my main question. It feels like they stem from a central problem. Allegedly I'm of above-average intelligence, with a fairly decent knack in problem-solving. But I've often been seen as gullible and a bit eccentric. Perhaps I was naive as well, but I've learned over time not to trust other people.

My skepticism has developed incredibly well over the years. Sure, there are things that pique my interest or curiosity, but now it always raises the situation where I can feel some excitement, but no contentment. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time I felt genuinely happy.

Maybe that's why I hardly feel any drive to do anything anymore. No motivation to do or be anything.

Again, I don't know what will happen in the future. I'll still visit on occasions...

-- Malamite Ltd.


MalamiteLtd's Profile Picture
Malamite Ltd.
United States


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JosephCollins Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2016
So, I'm not sure if I'm remembering this right, but weren't you into Namco's Ace Combat series at some point?  If so, it might interest you to know what a translation team has done a patch for the Japanese version of Ace Combat 3: Electrosphere which has a greatly-expanded story compared to the version we got.
MalamiteLtd Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2016
I did get into Ace Combat at one point; a few years ago I was introduced to the 3DS remake of the second game, and I had gotten a bit curious since. I had heard about the stunted version of Ace Combat 3, so I never really looked into that one. But I may do so now that a patch exists. Thank you very much!
Scorpio-Gustavo Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for the watch. cool art
MalamiteLtd Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2016
Thank you
NS-Games Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I hope you guys aren't getting hit too hard by Hurricane Matthew.
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